There I So Much Going On In These 30 Seconds: The Breakdown

2016 finishes strong in some fan fuckery, let’s try and break this thing down. So the setting takes place in Orlando Florida, the game is the Russell Athletic Bowl, University of Miami vs West Virginia University; another meaningless bowl game that was pretty much a snooze fest. The real action took place near some different kind of bowls.

Our main characters are arguing over who gets to unload their bladder first, with big WVU fan asking the smaller Miami fan to go back in line and let him finish his piss. Miami fan isn’t having it and is all over big boy. Then in a strange turn of events, WVU fan tells him that he’s going to piss on him. We’re talking R Kelly on a 14-year-old style (allegedly.) Now I’m not excusing Miami guy but when someone tells me they’re going to treat me like porcelain, I’m probably going to start swinging too. So he gets a punch in and runs away like a thief in the night. Then things get pretty weird, WVU fan walks towards the middle of the frame and he is in a prosthetic leg, I’m not being ableist but punching an amputee is just a no-go for me. What comes out of his mouth is even more shocking at 29 seconds in you can clearly hear him say, “I used to fuck guys like you in prison… little bitch.” WHAT? I have so many questions to ask now: Who gets fucked by a one-legged dude? Did a guy he fucked do that to his leg? Why would that be a go-to line to intimidate someone? Honestly the “little bitch” line at the end ruins the edge of what he just said, just say the first part and that’s a mic drop right there, don’t be greedy about it WVU fan.

 

 

Now, on first watch it’s a pretty bizarre video but man the devil is in the details, come take a journey with me and find all of the Easter Eggs in this 30 second video.The first one is the guy closest to the camera man, notice how he’s holding a cup with his teeth, looking back at the fight and peeing at the same time. Get you a man that can do both? How about a multitasking expert y’all?

Then we have next-in-line guy, dressed in orange and not really trying to break things up, just waving his arms with no passion. Could this lack of passion be caused by his wife leaving him because he is so passionless? Maybe he used to be fun and exciting but his job beat him down and now he’s the broken man we see before us. He does retrieve WVU fan’s glasses after they fall off his head, so that’s a nice gesture.

Around 25 seconds comes the next hilarious part, there’s an older Miami fan who you can audibly hear say, “I gotta pee” and proceeds to cut everyone and goes for WVU fan’s urinal, this may cause a part 2 of this fight but you have to respect the craftiness and heads-up move there folks.

Upon viewing the video again you also find Waldo himself! He shows up in one of the first frames emerging from a stall and then later by the sink. Good to know that Waldo practices safe hygiene. Bonus points if you catch Santa at the back of the line too.

 

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